One morning Niken (my best friend) texted me: Nya, do you think we ‘already’ 24 or we ‘just’ 24?
Then I re- read her text, thinking, because those words implied big different meaning.
When I think I just 24, I can say that I have my freedom as a teenager. Hahaha. I can play a lot, I don’t want to think about working or all my responsibilities, and no need to think about my future. I just live my life as it is.
But somehow, there’re times when I say that I already 24. I know I have responsibilities as a daughter, sister, best friend, student, and as a good woman.
Thinking about those things sometimes makes me have a big power, I’m an adult, I have my own life.
But most of the times, I freak out.
So many things to think about, to do, to accomplish.
What if I failed?
What if I couldn’t make my parents proud of me?
What if I couldn’t find a good job after graduation?
What if my best friends hated me? (oh this thing is totally impossible, I know they love me. Haha!)
See! Now I’m freaking out!
Today I talked with ummm.. just call her Rose, she was confused about her relationship.
She said that sometimes whether you will get married with your partner or not is not determined by the number of years of the relationship.
And sometimes the feeling can fade away, feeling has an expiration date if it’s not maintained by both of them. Or if it’s maintained very well, there’s still a chance that the uncertainty will come. Either about the person, job, place to stay after they settle down, or maybe because of a new person who’s better than their partner.
“I don’t know, really, maybe I’m just confused, maybe I’m scared, maybe I’m not ready to get married yet, or maybe I just need to think about this. About my future with him. Oh gosh I need sleep!”
But, for sure, my biggest quarter-life crisis is about my education. Can I pass those exams? Can I graduate soon? Can I make my parents proud of me?
This time I think I ‘already’ 24 and I don’t know what will happen next in my life.
But I believe, inshaAllah, I, Niken, and Rose can pass our quarter-life crisis smoothly.
And I do think that we need to have a-freak-out moment in our life, so we can learn how to calm down.
By the way, life without crisis and freaking out will be bored, doesn’t it?