I read it on twitter: don’t grow up, it’s a trap!

Yes, growing up is a very serious trap. I don’t know how could I ever wish to grow up faster than I should be. My little me used to think, “Oh, I must be really pretty and elegant when I work in office. I will use lipstick and high-heels everyday.”
5 years later, I still loved using my flat-shoes and didn’t have lipstick. I rarely used make up because I didn’t want to waste my bedtime just for waking up earlier so I could put some make up before going to the office.

Anyhoo, one of the biggest problems for being an adult is finding the easiest and fastest way to move on. Move on in here not always about love thingy, but also failures or pudency from something or someone.

In 2005 I did medical entrance exams and failed, but because of the curiosity I tried again in 2006. I studied very hard during 2005-2006 while I was studying in Communication faculty. I was a good student tho in my class. So I got good grade since the first year but still something pushed me to do the entrance exam for medical school again. But I failed (again!). Haha. I was crying like a baby when I got the message and locked myself up in my room for 3 days. My parents got angry with me, because my terrible reaction and I think they also little bit upset of the failure. Deep down inside I know there was a time when my parents hoped I could be a doctor someday. On the 3rd day, while blew my nose I read the text from my friend. She wrote, “I’m so sorry for your second failure. I know it’s very sad, but you must know, God always give you everything that you need not everything that you really want. So, cheer up!”

I re-read it twice and finally admitted my the failure. Yes, maybe I’m not fit in medical school but it doesn’t mean I’m stupid because I know I’m one of the brightest students in my communication class. Moreover, I have a lot good friends in my university and everything goes very smooth for me. Then, voila, I moved on!

Almost a year ago, I struggled to move on from someone. Yeah it was a cheesy like story (I wasn’t in love with him yet) with my latest ex. We broke up not in a good way in January and in March I still mourned myself of him and his new girlfriend. So I decided to run away from him. Unfortunately, We live in the same neighborhood so I carefully choosing my walking path to the university and I even knew his schedule to get lunch and dinner in canteen so I could avoid meeting him accidentally. Then I went to France and Belgium for 5 days with hopes, “when I come back here I can totally moved on from him and don’t need to pretend being happy again every time I see him.”

And what happened after those trips? I felt happy of course, but when I saw him again, I still felt so sad, started blaming myself, and made new scenarios again about us (always the bad ones). I googled tips and tricks how to move on from ex. They said: write your deepest feeling, hang out with friends, make a list of the positive and negative impacts if you were together, find new love, and admit your lost. I did all those steps (exclude find new love) and focused on the last one. And surprisingly it helped me a lot. I moved on (finally) in May!

My friend said, the opposite of love isn’t hate, but indifference. Because love and hate is just separated by a thin layer. Today you might love someone then tomorrow you hate him, but in the next day you will love him again. But when you feel indifference with one person, it’s the final line of your story with that person, you won’t feel any emotion or feeling toward him.

So I make the conclusion here of how to move on faster that really works on me:

1. Put something or someone as an enemy will not solve your problem, trust me.
2. Admit your failure or lost.
3. Make a list of what you will get or what you can achieve after that failure.
4. You can run away for awhile from the problem BUT just to pluck up your courage to face your problem after you come back.

Well, I’m not an expert in move on thing, I do still struggle to move on from many things.
So your not alone, dear Grown Ups, cheer up and move on from anything that block your way!