2 weeks from now at the same time inshaAllah I will be in Rome. Maybe now I’m sitting in the bus after struggling with my big luggage and seeing outside the window, exhaling and rolling back the time in Holland.

You know, perhaps now I’m having the ‘I don’t wanna say goodbye’ disease. It’s a disease which suffered by people who’s nearly to the time they should move to another place.
It’s like when I really wanted to resign from the biscuit company. 1 month before resign, I was so fed up with everything. With my bosses, with all the hectic jobs, with the calls from many agencies, with late meeting. I hate it! And when I finally submitted the resignation letter, I was hoping my last day at office would come faster.
But a week before it, everything became beautiful. Seemed like my bosses were angels then suddenly I loved them, I enjoyed the time when I got hectic and terrible calls from everyone, my office seemed pretty and homey, “gosh, really I will leave this office??” Then I felt my decision was wrong. Maybe instead of going to Italy it’s better to continue working in biscuit company. I can get all the biscuits I want! Who can’t resist that, anyway?

Then I realized it was just a disease before leaving something, that thing will turn into a very good one and makes us totally confused about the decision we’ve made.

Anyway, leaving the biscuit company of course made me sad and until now sometimes I do miss working there (as long my favorite friends are there too), but it was a good decision I think. I can’t compare the value of my experiences in Europe now with all my salaries there.

And now I’ll leave Holland, and the ‘disease’ already here, 2 weeks before the date. I’m kinda sad whenever I see my au pair kids. I wanna be here to see them growing up but I do wanna go back to Italy and have my not-too-early-wake-up-time again. Hahaha.
I don’t know until today that seeing the face of a baby while she’s sleeping is one of the most pleasant moment in the world. And I just know that a hug from 5 years old boy is one of the most sincere hug I can get from a boy. He hugs me because he loves me and misses me during he goes to school, no other reasons. And when both of them give me a kiss it will be the best day ever
Anyway, I’m going to miss my au pair parents. The way they always ask me in the morning, “Isyana, how was your sleep?” and when they reply my thank you with, “…you’re most welcome. No, I’m the one who should thanks to you for taking such a good care of my kids and the house.” And most of all, the way they discuss a plan to take care their children, somehow I see them as the secret agents who are discussing about something important for the country. Hahaha.

I’ll miss all the people here who can speak English very well, their friendliness, and they excitement when they know I’m Indonesian.
Ohya, and of course I’m gonna miss my solo travelling times. Get lost and found alone, chase the train, and come back home with hurt foot because of too much walking. Hahaha.. I feel so old.

When I just arrived here, my friend texted me: Today is so bright and beautiful. I think it’s a sign that your life in Holland will be really good!

Yes he was right